Monday, March 12, 2012

An email to my family

I have some really good news I want to share with you all.  I have turned the corner and am enjoying life again.  I titled my last blog post, "Put your funeral clothes away!"  Let me give you a little history.

On December 15th I experienced the most agonizing night of my life.  The pain was all consuming and I could not get relief.  The next day (on the advice of my GERMAN NEW MEDICINE doctor) I called Hospice for pain management and wound care (Hospice doesn't mean "one foot in the grave").  They were here the next morning and I had pain meds in my bloodstream that afternoon.  What a big help.  Not great, but still a help.  It took about 2 weeks for them to realize that morphine was what I needed.  Now, I was feeling much better.

Again, on the advice of my GNM doc I went to a wound care clinic in mid January.  The doctor there asked what oncology I was using and when I told him that I wasn't using oncology he dismissed me by saying he could not do anything for me.  He then took Preston out in the hall the speak in private.  We know what THAT conversation was, don't we?!

While they were out of the room the nurse said that she could help me feel more comfortable and told me what I needed to do in terms of cleaning the wound and gave me a dressing to use. That was the catalyst for the turning point.  The dressing relieved 99% of my pain (which was now a 5 instead of a 10 thanks to the morphine).  It is called Mepilex Transfer and has been a godsend.

Now with the new dressing my pain was less then a 1 on a scale of 1 to 10 and I started sleeping 7-8 hours a night.  Prior to that I was happy if I got 4-5 hours of  sleep.  In deep sleep is the only time a body heals and with all that glorious sleep my body started making up for lost time.  My energy increased and then my appetite returned and then I got more energy.  Over the last 4 weeks I have started driving and doing light errands again.  I even went out on our boat last week!

I went back to the wound care clinic under the care of a different doctor who agreed to treat me palliatively which is all I wanted anyway.  It was my 3 week follow up.  The doc and nurse were SHOCKED by the progress the wound had made.  The doc said she would have been pleased if the wound had stopped growing, much less starting to close and look so healthy.  Since that visit I have started using a product from New Zealand called Medihoney.  Now the wound is practically closing before our very eyes.

I still have a long way to go.  I have to rest a lot, nap often and be careful not to over do it, but I am having a great time healing!  The cats even stopped sitting vigil and became playful.  They have been constant companions, bringing good energy to me while removing the bad.

I know I would not be anywhere near this healed if it had not been for the unending care and love I have gotten from my Preston.  In December he was with me almost 24/7. I was in such a bad way and he did everything for me. He had a difficult few months taking care of me and is so relieved and happy to see me functioning again.  I even get in the kitchen and cook once in a while which is one of my favorite things to do - nourish my family!  He is long over due for some nourishing and I look forward to being able to give back to him and all that have been so supportive!

Please feel free to share my blog...I think it is important that woman know they can survive breast cancer if they opt out of the cuts, chemicals and burns of the cancer industry.

Much love and good health to you all,

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Put your funeral clothes away!

Have I really not posted since Jul 11, 2011?  Many of you who don't know me personally must have thought I had succumbed to breast cancer and died.  Oh, no my dear reader, far from it.  I am doing great and looking forward to a full recovery.  Although, I must admit, there were fleeting moments filled with such pain that I wanted it to be over!  Let me explain.

As I delved deeper and deeper into German New Medicine (GNM) my healing speed progressed.  Now, note the name of this modality, it is NEW Medicine and to me that speaks of a NEW way of thinking.  For many, healing would mean closing of the wound, disappearance of the tumor and life goes back to normal.  But, the body doesn't work that way. Nor does GNM, especially when new fears are introduced. 

If you recall from my last post I had selected a RBTI consultant (I'll call her Mary) to work with to balance my minerals in the RBTI belief that no disease can exist in a properly mineral-balanced body.  I was encouraged with this consultant and I thought I was making progress until one morning on the phone she told me I should get a mastectomy.  Mary equated my breast to an apple...if you have a bad part, you cut it out.  Well, the bad part of my body was my breast and she wanted me to "cut it out" to save the rest of my body and my life.

Fear and panic coursed through my body.  Wasn't I using this consultant to avoid that mindset?  Well again, like I had done in the past, I ran from her, but not before that fear and panic effected my psyche then my brain and in a short time my organ (breast). 

And that is the track a significant trauma takes.  Read more about that on the GNM site  Forgive me if I oversimplify here as I explain how Mary's words - or more importantly, the way I reacted to them caused a Death Fright, or a Devaluation Conflict, or a Diagnosis Shock. To this day I am not sure which one, and possibly all three.  But, the result was an ulceration of the skin of my breast.  I had a new "wound" starting and that caused more shock and fear. 

My GNM consultant, Dr. Chris Lowthert worked with me keeping me calm and fear free.  See, I knew on the mental level that fear only makes things worse, even though I had total confidence in GNM I had to learn this in my heart and soul..I had to be prepared not to go into a panic when new or unexpected things occurred.  When Mary told me to have my breast removed (how barbaric!) I had only been introduced to GNM 2 weeks earlier.  I was green and impressionable.

Because I believed in GNM I read more and more.  I watched the breast cancer video over and over.  As I became more confident in my bodys' healing abilities, it seemed to become sicker and sicker as my breast wound was now consuming my whole breast and the draining was effusive.  Yuck!  I smelled of dead tissue.  And I hurt!  Lying down in bed had been difficult for 5 mouths or so and now it was impossible.  Now I am in pain and not sleeping.  How can a body heal if it is not getting the sleep it needs?  It can't and I didn't.

I was beginning to understand that the Healing Phase can be extremely difficult in the beginning.  There can be fever, inflammation, discharges and pain.  Wow, was I healing. I had all of those symptoms with excruciating pain.  And I had 5 months of this agony ahead of me. 

I'll post more of my journey soon.  If you wish to receive automatic emails when I post just enter your email address in the box on the top left of this page.  Thanks for your support in sharing this with others.